Cultivating Trader Maturity, feat. Becky

Becky and Kendra created this Market Mamas day trading psychology podcast to share all the growing pains and inner workings that developing traders experience. We are always looking to be of service in helping to guide traders and spread awareness of the amount of hard work and dedication it takes for success in this journey. In this episode/blog, we wanted to talk about that period any trader faces where they are striving for a next level maturity in their game.

Becky has been trading for about 3 ½ years now and the maturity improvement within herself as a human and as a trader since then has been truly significant. So, does she call herself mature as a trader right now - that’s a heck no! Rather, she feels more mid-maturation. And for many reasons. But, thankfully, she feels acutely aware of her pitfalls and weak points that need the most attention and is specifically targeting them for improvements every day. So, it is in this acute awareness that she does know what it looks like to have maturity and what she is aspiring towards. She knows how the future trader Becky will act, trade, manage risk and reward, and expand. And it is that Becky who she intentionally visualizes in her quiet time and works to build actively every day with her thoughts and actions. It’s another long game development situation, but it is undoubtedly worth the time and effort! When Becky can actively and in vivid detail envision the trader she intends to be in just a year or two and then well beyond, she can clearly see the ways in which she is stronger, more confident and steady. So that vision focuses the work Becky is putting in every day in her office and in her mind, it focuses her on the ways in which she needs to level up. All that potential is pretty great!

We know who we will be once we more fully dial in our process and our behaviors as traders. Lock down impulse control and consistently only execute per our system and experience our compounding success when we do these things. It’s a gorgeous and exciting future that we know is going to be amazing and ever evolving! But, what the heck is it that keeps us from fully living in that success now? Well, there are still some bad habits, we know for ourselves, that we are still at various stages of growth with working beyond. One of the common errors that we are a lot better at now is FOMO. Early on, that was a struggle for both Kendra and Becky. But now we have really dialed back our exposure to other trader’s outcomes during our active trading time. Both mamas purposefully do not engage in any community chats or any online threads while we are trading. We want to lock into our own system and hearing that anyone else has already made so much or nailed their morning session is just noise that never helps us. So, we just do not even allow it into our zone in the morning.

But revenge trading, that one is a bit more personal for Becky at least. That one she has had to be more intentional with targeting and has taken her longer to tamp down. She does practice backing up from her computer and doing 50 squats and 50 pushups after a losing trade before she considers another trade, and that pulling herself away from her mouse and into her body for a few minutes does provide a decent reset break. It inevitably allows one more 5 minute candle to close, giving her more information on the morning setups and potentials and allows her greater objectivity with her analysis. And that time not looking directly at the printing candles is great for giving her mind a refresh.

For Becky, what about when she has a great first trade but it happens fast and easy? You guys, sometimes Becky still quickly and easily gains an overconfidence in those moments and craves more! If her trade ends up only taking 2 minutes, which is not crazy uncommon for her first morning scalps, then she is often good in terms of P/L for her day, should she choose to be done. But she feels like she barely traded and her market read was killer - it makes her want more! This is another time, for Becky, that she is often better off if she can walk away too and not immediately hunt another trade. Sometimes she does have time and opportunity for another trade in a given morning, but jumping right back into a trade after a quick and easy win is not always the best outcome because she can shortcut her analysis or potentially enter with more size or risk than she should because of the overconfidence. But, when she walks away or engages in another task after her first win, it allows the initial high of a solid win to settle and her mind to come back to its balanced, centered place of focus. In short, walking away at least briefly is highly beneficial between trades for beginner or middle traders, at least in our experience. Mental clarity and full analysis is really required for each trade and we are trying hard to always remember that and not get carried away by any heightened emotional state.

A rule that helps both mamas with not over-trading is respecting our trading times. Becky only trades the first hour and a half of NY session and sometimes the last hour and a half of NY session. Kendra only trades the first hour of NY session daily. Statistically, when we trade in the middle of the day, our trades provide papercuts and whittle away any positive P/L from our mornings at best. So, having trading hours of operation that we respect for our day trader businesses are highly beneficial as professional traders.

Basically, we know the shortcomings we can fall into as traders - fomo, revenge trading, overconfidence, or over-trading, to name a few of the biggies. They are super easy to succumb to. For us, our years of journaling has given us the data on our best and worst habits and resulting outcomes. That has helped us dial in our personal business rules. So, as we’ve always said, journal every day in some kind of way that speaks to you! There is so much power in your trading data if you choose to utilize it. It can be key to finding how you best can work to become 1% better and more mature as a trader each week!

I know my shortcomings, we all do. I choose to face mine head on and use them to grow. Even when it’s painful. Because I know the pain is the price for success and I am willing to accept that price every day.

~ Becky

The traditional avenues for a tilt situation that we just reviewed are pretty well known to all trader’s, I’d say. But, what happens when external factors derail you, such as an emotional hit or force that you cannot control? Beyond the normal day to day jitters, variances from the market, and trading outcome triggers like we just discussed. Recently, Becky experienced some rule changes and additional restrictions from her trading funded company regarding her performance accounts and that was pretty impactful for her mental stability in her trading over the course of several weeks. Without getting into the specifics, Becky needed to change how she was trading in order to withdraw the profits she had built up in her accounts and goodness did that affect her peace of mind with her trading. But, could she change any of it? No. There was no push back or discussion or avenue for her to pursue to change their requirements, despite her efforts.

The overarching situation was that Becky had to focus on what she could control, which was her actions and her inner dialogue. Becky needed to not take it personally that she was caught in this net, and keep her head down and her mind focused. And this is similar to a lot of eternal stressors that any of us could face. A major disagreement with a close loved one or a serious injury or illness would have a similar impact. Something that weighs heavily emotionally on our spirit has to be acknowledged and actively managed or contained. This requires some purposeful maturity for sure. Becky needed to perform her full body and mental scan each morning and ideally would refrain from trading if she did not pass. Was Becky 100% successful at this with her prop funding situation? Nope. She sure wasn’t always, at least not consistently.

It was very stressful, kept her up at night, and bred anger and frustration. Those are major negative emotions that are very damaging to a steady, focused mind. Now that she is past that situation, hindsight has certainly provided clarity. This was yet another example for Becky personally to grow through and strengthen her mind. Every setback is a setup for a comeback, right? More lessons and opportunities for her to evolve and mature as an adult and a trader. We cannot control the world around us, but we absolutely can control how we respond to it and where we choose to place importance. Life will throw obstacles in our path. We are responsible for how we respond, pivot, and continue on our journey. Fully accepting this and acting in accordance with those principles is easier said than done. But Becky is tougher for it and took the lessons learned and has moved right along.

We have the choice to stay down when something derails us, or dust ourselves off and get back in pursuit of our biggest dreams. The biggest help that we have found to grow through these events is time and mental work - meditation, visualization, exercise, leaning into loved ones and hobbies that bring us happiness. And with her trading, focusing on her process and her system and putting her energy into tuning out all the unhelpful noise and feedback. People who do not experience your trauma will not fully understand it and they don’t need to. The work that has to be done is internal anyways. And owning that responsibility for ourselves is critical to the growth that is required. Placing and debating blame on any issue serves no greater goal, it just prolongs the trauma. Life lessons can hurt our hearts in the moment, but we are all stronger than we know. This is life. 

When considering this topic of creating trader maturity, of course Becky needed to chat about it with her mentor Jermaine. He has been a complete game changer for Becky both in technical skills and in psychological growth and development. He had some great points too!! One tip he offered that we all could heed is to list all the things not to do and work hard not to do them. Simple, but powerful! If we know certain behaviors are not serving our process, we have to own that and cut them out! He also recommends working on sitting on your hands. Coming to the market not to look for a trade but more to observe, watch how she moves, sit there and be present but not trade hunting. That is legit maturity, lol. But it’s a good point. Watching from an abundance mindset, not a scarcity one, it's such an important concept! And watching a live market and not executing would most definitely improve peace and patience in our trading bodies!

We also loved his tip of making time for replay or back-testing and while doing it, do mental trades for the first few hours of a regular trading hours session. This helps us learn how she moves, trains our eyes, and builds patience. Just sit there and observe and think about how we could best utilize the data Miss Market is showing us. Yes, we know we have been better traders after every back-testing session for sure!! Oh, and the other advice he offered is to find a mentor who you mesh with and can teach you the craft. Jermaine said that a good mentor is essential, not just in trading, but also in life overall. And Becky can definitely attest to that! Jermaine and her trainer Amy have been very powerful influences for her as she has grown and matured. If you are not in a position to pay for a mentor at your stage in the game though, there are excellent books that can act as educators, as well as other podcasts and channels that are very good for both trading and personal development. But we would just say to make sure what they offer is right for you or do not give them, paid or unpaid, any more of your time. The right mentors are priceless, but mediocre mentors who don’t teach what you need can actually damage your progress, so just be critical and particular with who you give your time to, we’d say. And don’t feel bad when you decide it’s time to move on from one for your next levels. That is a part of the game for sure! So to our favorite mentor, thanks for the great tips Jermaine!! We all appreciate you!

Let’s be real, we know these things, right? For all our traders out there that are more than a year or two into their journey, these are not Earth-shattering concepts. But real, comprehensive, reliable trader maturity is rare in the first 5 years as a trader. At least the strong, steady, consistent level of daily mature and settled choices. So then how the hell do we GET IT?!?!?! That’s the question right? But the painful, honest answer is time, experience, pain, resilience, and personal accountability, even when no one is watching what you do. That is what has to grow to next levels. Becky has put in a few years now and she can feel the improvements, as well as see them in her accounts. And Kendra and Becky can definitely see them in each other. But, we also know that we need more to get to where we are headed. To embody that confident 7 figure trader of our futures. So then, we will do more of what works and weed out what does not serve our best selves. And give her time to get there! Becky and Kendra know their shortcomings, we all do. We choose to face ours head on and use them to grow. Even when it’s painful. Because we know the pain is the price for success and we are willing to accept that price every day. We have decided our fate. So now we are just showing up every day to put in time and gain the required experience to fully actualize our best selves.

What each of our paths looks like to consistent profitability as traders will be a little different. But these common threads are inevitable. Becky has been a RN for 18.5 years in 2024 and in that role, she knows what maturity and expert level feels like in a career. That is perhaps another factor for her that reminds her that she knows she is not there yet as a trader. Becky still gets butterflies in her stomach each morning at market open, and has to stand and lift weights or pace her office when she’s holding a trade to a farther target than usual for her. She still succumbs to poor habits like over-trading occasionally, or feels an overconfident high from a slightly larger win than usual. With time and practice, however, these experiences will settle into business as usual and she can leverage up with less hesitation and accept losses with less fear. This is the trader maturity we are all seeking and all we have to do is just not quit on our future selves.

Thank you to everyone who is subscribing to our podcast, reading our blogs, and providing us feedback! We are here to talk openly about everything that may help us all level up within our lives, be it day trading or otherwise. And this topic is a powerful one for us all as we push ourselves forward. Our best trading days are ahead! We wish you all the very best for your lives. Happy Trading!