No Regrets!
Regret early in your trading journey is a rite of passage and it stings!!! Regret lingers and it can and will stay with you in your heart and mind for as long as you allow it. And ,often much longer after the situation that led to it is far passed. This prolonged pain is the worst! Arabic professor Nouman Ali Khan once stated “Regret is a form of punishment itself.” That rings so very true for us. Regret in the moment can feel like shame, disappointment, sadness, self-condemnation - heavy, gross feelings that sap your energy and steal time that could much more wisely be spent!
In life, we are going to make mistakes. We are human and if you are trying something incredibly challenging, such as day trading, you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. More than once. But, to learn from those failures is SO much healthier than regret. I love how Brene Brown puts it when she said: “Regret is one of our most powerful emotional reminders that reflection, change, and growth are necessary. When used constructively, it’s a call to courage and a path to wisdom.” This reframing of regret is empowering! Regret is a response to a mistake, error, misjudgment, negative outcome, whatever it may be. But the event does not have to only be negative. I happened, it’s over, the deed is done. You can fixate on it and sit and sulk. OR you can learn from it. Look at it as a lesson, study it briefly, journal, dialogue with a close friend. Acknowledge the contributing factors to the outcome, make a plan to do differently in the future and then leave it in the past. It serves no purpose to be carried in most circumstances.
There is a critical part of processing regret - the lessons it can teach you in the aftermath. Another silver lining to regret is that the more you regret, possibly the more you can learn to value the importance of making wise decisions. You see and feel the deep core feeling difference between the bliss of studying, practicing, striving for great outcomes and then executing and reaping the rewards from them. Compare that to the sad, frustration of regret when you make an attempt and it fails. You will learn to cherish and crave more of those sweet wins and also study those intently to make them highly repeatable! Plan to do your very best at growing those experiences and diminishing the negative ones. Take personal responsibility for the work and effort of that for an even greater strengthening impact to your psychology.
There is regret with not having the courage to act, just as there is with making a poor choice. Both can cause regret. So, it is not really recommended to just stay safe on the sidelines to avoid regret either! In the end, most people regret not doing more, taking more chances, taking more trips, loving more fiercely, embracing who they are, speaking their mind, saying no when you don’t want something and going for it when you do, taking chances, being bold!
“I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end.”
~ Drew Barrymore
Regret won’t change your past just like anxiety won’t change your future. You only have now and your actions in real time. When something bad happens as a result of my choices, I need to be real about it. Learn from it, make amends if I need to, talk it out honestly as indicated, forgive myself, and then let it go! Let the lesson in it serve me, but do not hold negative emotions or energy. And don’t let the energy of regret steal my time!
We have to carefully manage what is running in our minds day to day. We’ve talked briefly about the power and positive influence of success affirmations, visualizations, and calming meditations. Conversely, ruminating on regret puts that foremost in your mind and often will then bring more into your life to additionally regret. What you think about, you bring about. That’s another strong argument to release regret with intention!
And yet another point about the impact of regret is that regret is not only unpleasant, but is linked to many additional negative emotions, such as remorse, sorrow, or helplessness. These negative feelings increase stress and affect physical health within your hormone and immune systems. It’s literally scientifically studied to be physically unhealthy. And it can delay larger goals in the process. Because regret’s most significant effect on a person is to hurt and weigh you down - it holds you back from the life you want to build, the dreams you want to make a reality only get further and further away.
Wallowing in regret and pity is gross and not how we roll. Instead, embrace the now! You can’t go back in time. But right now you have the power to build, grow, learn, create, love and live!!!! Regret is the equivalent of saying I wish I had…… What’s the point of that? Wishing does nothing. Action and choices bring about change and impact!
We market mamas are far from perfect and still battle regret actively some days. But it gets easier when you shine light on the complexities of it and choose to take its power away. Use the lesson from the experience and get back to being awesome! Negative energy following through our day is not a good vibe and does not serve us.