How To Stop Perfectionism Before It Stops You
Perfectionism is a subject that has absolutely come up for us in life and in our trading journeys, as we manage it regularly. When you are a high achiever with big goals, beyond the norm, there is a personality type that often goes with that. We are driven to succeed, to break boundaries and strive for the best. Sometimes we really subconsciously aim for perfection with our choices and outcomes and put forth substantial effort and perseverance. The feelings that result from falling short of perfection are humbling at a minimum. You can often then trace those emotions back to potentially unrealistic expectations in your career.
In this podcast episode, we are getting deeper into how the desire for perfectionism at times has impacted our lives and journey!
The pursuit of perfectionism can really sneak in without our conscious consent! It’s prettier and more socially acceptable to say we are perfectionists, than what we really are feeling, which is being afraid to not meet our own or others expectations. Getting caught in the pursuit of perfection can be a real detriment to yourself and your goals as well. If we spend too much time and energy trying to create a perfect environment to start something, that usually results in missed opportunities to learn by trial and error and figure it out along the way. There’s very few things in life that come with a clear black and white instruction manual, and certainly not the best things in life.
Perfectionism can also look like overthinking and hesitation and when that’s stripped down can reveal a lack of confidence. In my opinion, confidence is not built by having perfect outcomes, but rather by accepting setbacks and continuing to make moves despite not having the perfect circumstances to do so. If I am so focused on making my day, choices, growth and outcomes appear perfect, then I am most certainly not focusing on the work and real requirements of my pursuit. The greatest freedom for true growth, in fact, lies within your allowance and forgiveness of mistakes along the way!
Do you battle this in your psychology? Some signs of perfectionism can include: you attach your worth to your performance and achievements; you believe that you either win or lose, and that there is not middle ground; the fear of not being liked makes it hard to say no to others; you procrastinate when you don’t have every step figured out; missing a workout or eating one unhealthy meal stresses you out disproportionately; you don’t ask for help and show your vulnerability; you don’t tolerate mistakes of yourself or others; you stay in your comfort zone to avoid embarrassment or failure. We are not immune from these emotional experiences. But let’s be real, the world is imperfect. And there is such beauty in that diversity and variety. Progress and growth does not have to be linear or perfect to count and compound!
“Perfectionism is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.”
~ Vince Lombardi
We can say from experience that we are the harshest critics of ourselves. I often feel like I have no room to make any mistakes because I also fear having regret. Perfectionism is a distraction and burden, not a standard or goal. Let’s call it out for what it is and how it stands between us and peace, happiness, and true fulfillment. Striving for perfection is a forever moving target that will never be hit and it can rob one of a very successful, enriching life if not careful. It can overshadow the very little things, little moments. The present moments that should be fully experienced and lived in can be missed all together and there’s so much value lost in that.
It is absolutely important to do your best work, learn from your mistakes, ask for help, challenge yourself and your process and of course never settle for mediocrity. This dedication and grit is a recipe for the highest success! But there can be a fine line between healthy striving, pushing towards your best and being relentless, and insisting on perfection as the only acceptable result worth celebrating.
I like to think of being relentless as the opposite of being perfect. When you’re relentless you’re unstoppable you get things done by any means necessary. When you’re a perfectionist it often stops you in your tracks, kills your momentum, and the necessary trust you must have in yourself above all else.
One point that I really love is that perfectionism does not support practice shots or the time that is required for growth & improvement. Anything you truly feel called to, as we do with day trading, is worth doing badly! For if you do something badly enough, you could become quite good at it! You really do become good at what you practice! But the practice is not always pretty, and that is just a fact of the game.
We have found that being open and authentic with the struggles of our imperfect journey is our value add. Too many times people don’t have an appropriate outlet to share the challenges in trading and it can be really helpful to think out loud with people who are in the arena with you. That’s a major silver lining. We are all stronger with a supportive and involved mastermind community around us. Working to be excellent but with the grace to understand we are not perfect can build a locker room of some ride or die teammates. No one is perfect. Everyone falls, learns, makes mistakes, says the wrong things, nothing is ever that serious!